This week we talked about the sexual antinomies that exist in our society. I did my first Précis on the article by Jackson and Scott entitled "Sexual Antinomies in Late Modernity" which had a lot to say about this topic. My précis can be found on the home page of my blog, but I will reflect a little on what I think about sexual antinomies of childhood sexuality here. The following is a quote from my précis regarding the antinomies of childhood and sexual education.
“Jackson and Scott found that the preservation of childhood innocence is increasingly anxiety provoking where erotic imagery is presented and easily accessed in the media. There are uncertainties of when to inform a child about sexual information, along with how to respond to children who begin to express themselves sexually. The contradiction lies between sex as a wonderful thing, and existing between limits for adults only. Defining the age of an adult furthers tension. In a society where there is greater acceptance of premarital sex, there is also more anxiety surrounding the issue of teen pregnancy. Anxiety surrounding preserving a child’s innocence is deeply concerning among parents who have difficulty seeing their child as potentially sexual”.
From this, when is it an appropriate time to tell your children about sex? How old should they be? Should contraception be taught at a younger age? These questions were of much concern to me when we discussed this for the reason that I had no answer. I really tried to put my head in the frame of mine of a parent with a young teenager. I feel that all young teenagers should be informed on sex and contraception earlier than later because there are more and more teen pregnancies. It was not from this class that I had an answer to these questions. I actually formed my solid opinion on the matter of when to inform children of sex from a television show called “16 and pregnant” and a spinoff called “Teen Mom”. This show follows the lives of teenage mothers and shows all of the hardships they undergo from having a baby so young. By no means do they glamorize having children at such a young age. It actually shows the opposite which really breaks my heart to watch. All of the girls on the show were only 15 or 16 years old when they were pregnant. Almost none of them had a clue about contraception and safe sex, nor did there parents talk about it. Just from watching this show, I know for a fact, I will inform my son or daughter some day about sex as early as them entering high school. Sure they are young, but it’s better to protect them before it’s too late.
The following is a pod cast I found about the antinomies of childhood sexuality entilted "Talking About Pornography to Kids Age 10 and Up" This view is much more religious, a lot of it I do not agree with.
http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?i=55404537&id=318625918
This Podcast fascinated me, but not in a positive way. This Podcast had extreme Christian views on talking to your child ten years and older about pornography. I respect Christian values however I don’t agree that these methods are the best way of approaching this situation nor do I find it very ethical. The main message I got was that pornography is a sin and you must stay pure until you are married, and that porn is dangerous in that it will tempt you to not stay pure. I encourage you all to listen because it is very interesting seeing how children should be educated from this extreme view
The speaker recognizes that we have an “over sexualized society” I agree with this to some exctent however I don’t see it as a negative thing like the he does. The speaker informs us on how to talk to kids about the “dangers” of porn. He basically says that pornography programs a person as to what turns them on and gets them aroused. I agree porn does arouse some people. However I do not agree with his next point. He says that porn leads directly to addiction and that a kid can be addicted in less than two weeks of exposure and also that porn is as addictive as cocaine. Yes he said it and I will repeat “porn is as addictive as cocaine”. He follows up by saying that children need to know that porn is worse than cocaine. I would be extremely concerned if children were led to misbelieve that porn is just as addictive as or worse than cocaine. I believe that children should be told the honest truth about porn and parents should not use scare tactics to mislead their children when educating them. I think giving them false information could be dangerous especially with this situation, they may think cocaine is not so bad if it’s worse then porn (these are 10 year old kids remember!) I think that you should tell your kids that porn is not appropriate at such a young age, but at the same time I also think you should educate them in safe sex and sexual practises because their going to look if they want to look whether you let them or not.
Other points he mentioned that I disagree with and are up for anyone to debate are:
· Porn harms the children’s image of themselves and their image of their future spouse.
· Porn gives you unrealistic expectations of marriage.
· Porn shows an unrealistic form of sexuality.
· There may be some connection to reality but... its not real
· Girls look on the internet to see how to be better at sex
· If a child accidently clicks on a porn site link, they are to immediately turn of the monitor and inform their parents they found something bad, but they are not to talk about it.
I disagree with all of these points to some extent because I don’t believe that all porn is “unrealistic” as some porn can be very much realistic (not all porn is bad). Porn may be used as a learning tool but I think it’s unfair to generalize that to only females.
The bottom line is that I respect people values about how they live their lives and what they believe in. What I don’t agree with however is misdirecting your child about something that is quite normal to view while educating them about it. Children and young teenagers do get curious. If there going to look, there going to look. Again I think it’s extremely important that they are educated in safe sex practices and that they don’t need to look at porn for the sake of getting educated on sex (as the speaker mentioned)!!!
